Conscious Partings

When Fear Rules We are all Lose 

Are you operating out of fear or out of love?

The election is now several days behind us.  And over these past several days I have sat with clients who are literally in a state of shock.  The grief is real.  Fear takes over.  I have had to take several days to  process what has taken place and what the effects of the election outcomes have had on myself, as well as others.   My own principles of remaining mindful of the stories I tell myself and the ebb and flow of emotion that follows has been immensely tested.  

It is clear that there is a division among Americans that go well beyond a specific person or an election.  There are clearly two distinct realities that exist and are so strong that it seems impossible to understand others who live in a reality other than our own.  It does not matter what ‘side’ you are on.  It is apparent we struggle with truly seeing the other sides perspective.  From either side of the divide, people who love each other, have respected one another and who have had compassion for each other are now accusing the other of being in denial--of not seeing “how things really are”.  

The efforts to ‘make’ the other see ones point of view leads to angry, hurtful and destructive interactions. Relationships are being 
damaged as people forcibly try to convince others how right they 
are and how wrong the other is.  

Political campaigns always use fear to influence people.  Fear is a powerful thing.  They send the message that “if you don't vote for me …. will happen”, “If you vote for him/her, ….. will happen”.  The …. is filled in by some pretty scary stuff!  In this election the use of fear was huge as each side played on our fears in hopes it will win your vote. 

The Conscious Partings principles that I talk about in my blogs are meant to address the painful and scary time we go through when an 
intimate relationship is coming to an end.  When a relationship is ending fear hijacks all reasoning.  Fear clouds our judgement, makes us forget our values of love, honesty, respect, compassion and integrity.  We can become ugly if we allow our fear to rule.  

The Conscious Partings principles are based on the idea that under all that fear and anger, love still remains.  It is possible to be ‘loving’ in our actions and responses even when we are hurting or in strong opposition with others.  

I am experiencing ‘hurt’.  My hurt is about what I am witnessing between people who have had love for each other, who have respected and valued each other, yet have been now swept away by all the negative energy of this election and have become ugly.  The fear is spreading like a wildfire across social media, with (some) people we have chosen to add to our ‘friends’ lists spreading hateful, fear-based comments, memes, far right-left fear-filled articles.  Long strings of comments on posts are assaultive, mean, cold and disrespectful. 

This is what fear does.

No matter what 'side' you are on, it is absolutely necessary to do your part to slow down the divide by not being ruled by your fears.  In order to remain who you are at your core—a loving, respecting, compassionate person, you must be aware of your fear,  acknowledge it, sit with it and  then make the conscious mindful shift out of fear back into love.  No matter what!! You can choose to respond with love.

As I write these words, I do know this is not easy.  I have fallen into my fears just as we all have.  I have typed some biting words into the long strings of comments and I feel the effects of the loss of my own integrity because of it.  It is difficult to even want to be ‘loving’ in our responses when we feel we are being, in some way, personally attacked.   But if we are to bridge the divide and repair the damage we have done to our relationships it is necessary.

 If, as a Nation, we don’t become more conscious of our fear and shift back into love, then we are all losers in this election.  Do your part to see that LOVE WINS.